I can see your face, there on the street corner, sitting at the same table at the same café. Day after day, week after week, year after year, this was the beginning of the end for you. I can see your reflection, bouncing off the glass of the window across the street. The smile on your face was lost in time somewhere, and how I desperately wish I could help you find it. I see your image, painted on the inside of my mind, I see you in real life. These two pictures do not resemble one another. The you that I knew, was left far behind in the race against drugs and popularity. The you I know is gone, the you I see disgusts me. Your oh so generic, with the right costume to play dress up with your equally shallow friends. It’s not that I hate the way you dress, no I actually it turns me on. What I hate is much deeper than that, I hate what you have become. I don’t hate you, I hate what you stand for. That you turned your back on the person that grow up by my side. Change... Your change is something different, this change is a monster. Devouring the soul inside, taking what could have been.
Can’t you see? I’m still the person you loved, I’m still the person you DO love. The changes, their only cosmetic. Built for the people that need to be impressed. The sacrifices, they’ll all pay off. Give a little here, and in a couple years I can show them all who I really am. And they’ll love it! One fix, one night, it’ll all pay off when these people I barely know now become friends for the rest of my life. Stop judging! It’ll be ok. I can watch out for myself.
You give me excuses. You tell me the reasons. All these things do not matter to me. I’m selfish I know, but the person you have become isn’t happy. All I want is for you to be happy. The things once held close to your heart are now sold. I can not be the one to save you, I wasted to many years wondering when you would learn. I’ll always be here when you need me. When your ready to take off the mask.
What?! How can you say that?! You care, but you won’t stay around? In case you haven’t realized, I’m fine. All that work finally paid off you know. I’m more powerful than you ever could be. People like me, and let’s just say I have people pounding down my door for the things I can do for them. Money in their hand, a wild, wanting look in their eyes, I can control whoever I want. So go ahead, leave. I don’t need you, I never did. Remember all those times? When I said I loved you? I was lying, just so you know. Have a good life, I’ll be busy while your dying.
This? Is that what you call happiness? I don’t see anything worth while in that cave you call your home. I see smoke pour from the cracks, and people lie lifeless on your floor. If that is bliss, I’ll take my misery. The things you said, the way you lied. Falling in love with you is like falling on a bed of nails, both painful and both pierce the heart. The only problem with both, is that after I can not seem to get up. I want you to be ok, I want to see the light return to your eyes. What I see now, reflected in that window, is a dim reminder of what you used to be. I’m closer than you realize, farther from your demise. But the attraction turns you on, the thrill of a life being burned makes you flush. I will never stop loving you, but you already stopped loving me.
I hope you die. That’s all I have to say.
If this is the last, I want you to know. Your star was brighter than mine, your love could have filled an ocean twice. Now, your dying, and there is nothing I can do. So hold on, I’m coming to get you. I’ll fight a thousand demons, swim an ocean of fire and die knowing you were worth it. Brace yourself, I’m entering your hell.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. You’ll die trying to rescue me. I don’t even want your help. I like my world, I control this place. I’d rather rule over ruins. I love my hell.
I can’t seem to breathe. This smoke is choking me. This hell is worse than imagined, a place gone to the demons. Why won’t you take my hand? Why can’t I rescue you? It was so much easier before, and now you won’t even answer my call. This place is dark, much like your fate. I see a sunrise, but you would rather stay ignorant. I won’t subject myself, to this everlasting torment, I need you now. But you already are gone. So when your ready, you know where I am. I’ve told you before. My heart is willing, but my body is weak. I am eternal, but you seek the attention of the meek.
I will not be treated like a little kid. Recognize that you can not do anything for me. I can save myself. I do not need you. My ways are right, because I make the rules. Leave me alone.
So be it. I love you. Goodbye.
