Sleep, is what I should be doing.

Right is not what you say it is, it is what you know it is. To often people say, “I am right, what reasons can you present that you is right instead?” Well, to be honest I have more reasons than stars in the sky of why we are both wrong. Debate is fun, healthy and intellectual but nowadays many spend time arguing instead of debating. Arguing right and wrong, but in actuality we are arguing nothing at all. Right is intangible, something that is proved but felt. Is it right to not kill an innocent? No, it is wrong, wrong on the highest level. Is there data to prove that killing innocents is wrong? None that I know but as a cumulative society we recognize it as wrong.  Why? The answer, I hope, is that we can agree on this because we all know it is wrong. Something deep inside all of us says killing is wrong, especially when a person is innocent of any crime. Please excuse my inquiries, but why do we argue about what is wrong or right? Data, proofs, correct theories; our forefathers did not waste time examining what is wrong or right when they declared their independence and set down our laws. They merely felt obligated to offer life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to those who sought it, because deep down they understood and knew that was what was right. Teenagers, celebrities, politicians, we all argue for what is right. Is this merely a ploy? To cover up what is really the problem? Is it really an issue of our society forgetting how to feel? No empathy, no morals, no right. Think about these things and begin to develop what is right for you. Do NOT let me tell you what is right, because then you would be ignoring the entirety of what I just said. Think. Feel. Act. Responsibly and morally, otherwise your just another fish caught on the hook of ignorance wriggling and fighing while trying to escape your own ironic statements about what is right. Do not argue truth; know right and act upon it. 

Yerp.

There is only one road upon the earth running in the direction of the sun. Rising and setting in the same spots, the sun is what a horizon should be. Simple in fact, run towards the light. Never let up because if that happens there may never be a happy ending. One straight path towards beyond always running straight into golden rays. Many obstacles will block the way. Some will be appealing and pleasant to the eyes, some will disgust the inner core of one’s being. Each hold challenges that may test the will of passion to the point of desperation. There will be little pieces of time left scattered behind the wake of the journey, left to fertilize the ground with history and culture. Trees of knowledge will spring up and fountains of wisdom will be left to be drunk by those who come later. All this encompasses this road of life. Running always east to west along the line of the sun. Follow dreams, make new proverbs, paint pictures of the majestic earth, write songs, dance festively, and help plant one more seed of consciousness. 

The conversation between me and you. Part #1

I can see your face, there on the street corner, sitting at the same table at the same café. Day after day, week after week, year after year, this was the beginning of the end for you. I can see your reflection, bouncing off the glass of the window across the street. The smile on your face was lost in time somewhere, and how I desperately wish I could help you find it.  I see your image, painted on the inside of my mind, I see you in real life. These two pictures do not resemble one another. The you that I knew, was left far behind in the race against drugs and popularity. The you I know is gone, the you I see disgusts me. Your oh so generic, with the right costume to play dress up with your equally shallow friends. It’s not that I hate the way you dress, no I actually it turns me on. What I hate is much deeper than that, I hate what you have become. I don’t hate you, I hate what you stand for. That you turned your back on the person that grow up by my side. Change... Your change is something different, this change is a monster. Devouring the soul inside, taking what could have been. 

Can’t you see? I’m still the person you loved, I’m still the person you DO love. The changes, their only cosmetic. Built for the people that need to be impressed. The sacrifices, they’ll all pay off. Give a little here, and in a couple years I can show them all who I really am. And they’ll love it! One fix, one night, it’ll all pay off when these people I barely know now become friends for the rest of my life. Stop judging! It’ll be ok. I can watch out for myself.

You give me excuses. You tell me the reasons. All these things do not matter to me. I’m selfish I know, but the person you have become isn’t happy. All I want is for you to be happy. The things once held close to your heart are now sold. I can not be the one to save you, I wasted to many years wondering when you would learn. I’ll always be here when you need me. When your ready to take off the mask.

What?! How can you say that?! You care, but you won’t stay around? In case you haven’t realized, I’m fine. All that work finally paid off you know. I’m more powerful than you ever could be. People like me, and let’s just say I have people pounding down my door for the things I can do for them. Money in their hand, a wild, wanting look in their eyes, I can control whoever I want. So go ahead, leave. I don’t need you, I never did. Remember all those times? When I said I loved you? I was lying, just so you know. Have a good life, I’ll be busy while your dying.

This? Is that what you call happiness? I don’t see anything worth while in that cave you call your home. I see smoke pour from the cracks, and people lie lifeless on your floor. If that is bliss, I’ll take my misery. The things you said, the way you lied. Falling in love with you is like falling on a bed of nails, both painful and both pierce the heart. The only problem with both, is that after I can not seem to get up. I want you to be ok, I want to see the light return to your eyes. What I see now, reflected in that window, is a dim reminder of what you used to be. I’m closer than you realize, farther from your demise. But the attraction turns you on, the thrill of a life being burned makes you flush. I will never stop loving you, but you already stopped loving me.

I hope you die. That’s all I have to say.

If this is the last, I want you to know. Your star was brighter than mine, your love could have filled an ocean twice. Now, your dying, and there is nothing I can do. So hold on, I’m coming to get you. I’ll fight a thousand demons, swim an ocean of fire and die knowing you were worth it. Brace yourself, I’m entering your hell.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. You’ll die trying to rescue me. I don’t even want your help. I like my world, I control this place. I’d rather rule over ruins. I love my hell.

I can’t seem to breathe. This smoke is choking me. This hell is worse than imagined, a place gone to the demons. Why won’t you take my hand? Why can’t I rescue you? It was so much easier before, and now you won’t even answer my call. This place is dark, much like your fate. I see a sunrise, but you would rather stay ignorant. I won’t subject myself, to this everlasting torment, I need you now. But you already are gone. So when your ready, you know where I am. I’ve told you before. My heart is willing, but my body is weak. I am eternal, but you seek the attention of the meek.

I will not be treated like a little kid. Recognize that you can not do anything for me. I can save myself. I do not need you. My ways are right, because I make the rules. Leave me alone.

So be it. I love you. Goodbye. 

Out on the Balcony

There is a place for me
It's lined with trees
The road is long and straight
And the path leads somewhere I do not know
The sun breaks through the trees in only small patches
So as one walks down the lonely avenue
Patches of gold cross your path
Sometimes another may join me on my walk
Other times I find myself alone
Leaves fall down
Trees grow old
But this place of mine is always here
It's always real
Never fake
So many times I've walked down this road
Thinking of all things that swirl in my head
Figuring out mysteries
Planning speeches I'll never use
It all happens here
On my lonely road
Maybe you have a hill
A mountain top retreat
I have a road
It takes me somewhere
There is a destination at the end
I don't know what that resting place is
But I know it's mine
So I'll see you out on my road
As you stand on your mountain
Or call from the top of the hill
Either way let's take what life gives us
And then run down the pathway

Let there be stories.

So let's sit before the fire, and hear a great yarn
Tell me of great things and little things
I want to hear tales of the city and I want to hear stories from the barn
Don't stray from this mythical path
Reality doesn't exist here, not even math
Keep true to the spirit of great tales
No lessons of science or history please
I'd rather be caught in a frightful gale
Tell me of magic
Tell me of might
Relay the great fables of war and of night
I want to hear horror
I want to hear love
Just please don't tell me of your christmas gloves
So Im sitting here
And your sitting there
Tell me a story
It's only fair

I've sat here quite often.

This place seems very familiar to me
There are things and people that I have seen
Places and memories that flood my head
Yet I don't remember a thing
Living a life that was surely my own
Not remembering what or who this man was
Walking through an open country field
The sight of stars overhead cast a light on this path
There is a hill in the distance
A place for rest and deep thinking
The lone tree that breaks the landscape
Rises high above everything else
Like a watch tower on a mountain
The tree keeps watch over all with it's smooth trunk and long, elegent branches
The seat at the base of the tree is unoccupied
And I soon find myself sitting
No tree feels like this one
This entire world seems like home
Brain working in over time
I try and relax
Peace soon floods through my body
It's never been this easy
So questions begin to rise
Why am I here
What Happened
Did I die?

Word O' the Day.

My door is open tonight
It usually stays that way because I hope you'll come home
I want to see your face
To touch your skin
But I know that this wasn't not meant to be
Your gone, and I noticed
But I never quite cared
You left a long time ago
And I was never scared
The thought of you
Is much better than the real person
Because the thought can't hurt me
It won't judge me
No scars will be left
So maybe it's just best if you leave
I wish you safe travels
And the best hopes go to
But never come back
Beacuse the door will be closed.

Free Flow Sucka.

This wasn't planned. I haven't editted or even thought of what I'm about to write. It's all going from my head to my keyboard to you. Don't laugh.

As the shirt hang in my closet
They always grow older
Fashions fade away 
But all the shirts still hang there 
Some haven't been worn for years and years
Holding some dear and will not be thrown into a pile of give aways
It makes me think of the memories I have
Most hold pain and ditress 
My brain won't let them go
They help form the path I walk each day
The pain of before helps keep the smile there
I won't repeat the same lesson more than 100 times
Eventually the point will be taken
And the shirt will be hung up 
It won't be thrown 
It will be remembered
 
Look past the mistakes here. I will not fix them, but hopefully you get a meaning from this.

Back again... After a couple weeks break.

My ship is sailing on an ocean of fear
Pushed along by the winds of anxiety 
I don't know where I'm going
But I know that life is taking me there
Sharks swim beneath my bow
Hungry to bite into my soft flesh
They are only demons imagined by me
But the pain they cause is so real 
The way to the final resting place is dangerous 
Filled with nightmares from my own hand
And they feast on my doubting mind 
I will prevail though 
When I set foot on these distant shores
I may be bloody and worn 
But not defeated
I will not lay down in submition 
To something that was not created by God
These demons are my own 
But I'll fight them with my Father
My FATHER 

No Point Really..

Today, I'm just going to lay back and let the writing figure out where to go.

So I sit here with nothing put paper and words
No direction or space to occupy 
Sometimes I get lost on this magical journey
And end up in place that I don't recognize as my own
It's all part of the life experience
To feel the sun on my back
With the wind smelling something like adventure
I don't know where I'm going
These two feet of mine and my head seem to know the way
Somehow I'll find myself some place that feels like home
In a field with the one I love
And the stars above to tell me that I still can find the way
I don't know where I'm going and
Frankly I don't care

Funny after the thought at the beginning this writing took place. I guess this works. See you next post faithful, lonely blog. 

First Blog...

To make things easy for this first post I'll write some stuff that I have already had for awhile. This blog will be mostly be thoughts of mine, probably a grip of poetry. Bear with me, I learn new things about myself everyday so leave a comment with a good thought or creep and peep like most internet lurkers these days. (:

The Poem of the Unknown Girl:

You think the way the light made you glow

You'd be an angel

Those eyes speak volumes

Saying words to me that no poet could ever capture 

Inviting, warm, delicate, powerful

The same force that pulls me in, repels me away

If they said beauty could ensare the mind

I'd believe them

But they don't say that

I made that up

I wish they did say that

So that I could believe something besides my own thoughts

My mind feels trapped

By your elegant shadows

By those eyes that when turned in my direction

Make my heart soar and then hit the floor with a thump

It's a sad shame we've never met baby girl.